The other day I was looking for parking in DC. Finding free parking that is also legal is 50 percent luck and 50 percent finesse, so before driving to DC prepare yourself. I was going to my hair salon, so I already knew where to go to find parking, both free and paid. But for some reason I just couldn’t find a good spot. I started getting frustrated because I kept driving through the same streets over and over again for 30 minutes, looking for a single spot. I passed up on spaces I knew I could fit into but was too nervous to try. Finally I said, “God just help me find a spot!” and a few minutes later a spot was found, that wasn’t free.
Immediately as I was demanding God to find me a spot, I thought about how long it took me to ask for him to step in. Why didn’t I include him in the process beforehand? Saying something like, “Lord, we going to DC today. Let’s find a good parking spot in record time,” would’ve been nice to hear.
Then more questions came:
How often do I depend on God? Is He my last resort? How confident am I in myself to get things done, before I fail?
The very mundane things that occur during the day typically do not warrant any need for me to ask for help, unless I run into difficulty. And that’s the problem, I wait until I fail or run out of all other options before asking for help. And it goes beyond just asking God for help, but including Him in the small details of my life. At some point, I started to believe more in my own abilities than God, who not only gifted me these abilities, but is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, (Eph. 3:20).
I’m not saying that when I invite God into my life more, everything will be perfect and that I will always find a free parking spot. Because surely that won’t happen. In fact, this made me realize that I only come to Him when I want something perfected according to my standards.
Another day, at another hair salon, I started reading my horoscope...
As I was reading it I thought, what am I expecting to get out of this? Do I actually believe what this is saying, as an accurate depiction of my life? Are horoscopes acting as a supplement to what God is saying, for me?
That last question made me think more; I read enneagram posts on Instagram to try to understand why I am the way I am, Myers-Briggs personality results to determine my career path, and the 5 love languages to properly love and be loved. Supplements.
When I told my friends, one shared a scripture with me:
For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. Psalms 62
You know what supplements are? It is, “something that completes or makes an addition.”
I’ve been taking in all these supplements to try to get what I need, instead of getting it straight from the source. Jesus is that source; a pure, reliable source.
I think I got it, but I don’t got it. My independence is vain. The little things I don’t include God in, quickly become bigger things. I get self-reliant; boastful when it works out, and despondent when I fail. Either way, I manage to believe I have more control than I actually do, and that everything that happens is because I willed it to happen, thus giving myself way too much credit.
My friend went on to say (I’m paraphrasing) that there is something that comes from waiting on the Lord, seeking him alone and him only, rather than trying to get quick answers and solutions to our worries.
God doesn’t need to be supplemented by anything. I don’t need Him with a side of whatever the world is offering. He holds all the encouragement, strength, peace, answers, stillness, and patience that I need plus much more. He won’t leave me in limbo. He’s there in the little moments, and big moments. He’s there to pick me up and make my paths straight. He goes before me, after me, and with me.
16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1
19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4
Now, do I believe this?
